Tonight I’ll Sing My Songs Again

I’ve had a weird relationship with music ever since my dad died. I used to sing all the time. In the car, sitting at my desk, in the shower, everywhere. Am I a good singer? Oh heck no. But after he passed… no. I hardly could even listen to music, if I’m being honest. Any music I listened to had to be fast and loud. No ballads or slow songs. But over the past week, I’ve been humming to myself. Singing bits and pieces of songs. My go-to seems to be old Simon and Garfunkel songs. They remind me of trips with my parents when I was younger and we mostly listed to music from the 50s-70s. But I think it’s good. I think maybe it’s part of my healing process. Or maybe music is just so ingrained into me that no matter what happens, eventually I find my way home.

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara w/Petite add on by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Serenity by Truth (Yeah, I wore this in my last blog post. I forgot. LOL!)
Face Tattoo: Cookie Blush by Rainbow Sundae [The Liaison Collaborative]
Top: Cicely Sweater by Tres Blah [FaMESHed]
Jeans: Evie by Blueberry
Pose and Prop: Winter Road Trip by Secret Poses [The Liaison Collaborative]
Photo Booth: Old Station by Foxcity

Coming Out Of The Dark

Hello, loves. Well. This was a mess of a month. *laughs* Of course, I have never been one for Novembers, which those of you who have read my blog for a long time know all too well. But this November? Yikes. But unlike past Novembers, I took time to really work on myself and, more importantly, just rest. I usually try pushing through everything I’m going through, and I’ve learned that maybe that’s not always the best option. Sometimes you just need to step back, step away from everyone, and retreat into your own tiny bubble while you rest and think and just take care of yourself. I did exactly that, and I feel like I’m better for it. It’s like waking up. It’s like taking a huge breath after holding it for so long. It’s like coming out of the dark. Am I “all better?” No. Of course not. But today? Today feels good. I hope you are all taking care of yourselves, too.

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara with Petite add-on by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Serenity by Truth
Top: Tick by Neve [FaMESHed, December]
Skirt: Tock by Neve [FaMESHed, December]
Sheer Tights by Izzie’s
Pose: Celestial by Foxcity
Photo Booth: Neighbourhood by Foxcity

Till My Bone Collapse

[I did this blog post last week and didn’t finish it. I’m having a bit of trouble because of some medication I’ve been on, so while my body and mind settle down, I’m on a bit of an internet hiatus. But I wanted to make sure I at least got this post out.]

I didn’t do any spooky type pictures in October. I felt like maybe I shouldn’t, like maybe it wouldn’t be good for my mental health. But honestly? I LIKE doing those dark types of pictures. It’s out of my normal range and I just…like it. So yes, Halloween is over, but I feel like doing a spooky picture.

I used to play a lot of Dead By Daylight. In fact, for a while, it was almost the only game I played. Since July, I haven’t really played any games except for GTA V. I know, right? But when I saw this exclusive at The Epiphany… well, I knew the type of photo I wanted to do.

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Blood and Wounds by Izzie’s
Hair: Gemma by Magika
Outfit: Bloody Cardigan #3, Bloody Leggings #9 – Survive The Night by Avity [The Epiphany]
Boots: Sun Boots by Bueno [Anthem]
Knife – Aurora by Duckie [The Epiphany]
Pose made by me with AnyPose

Effigy (Exclusive) by Tylie [The Epiphany]

Asylum bed rolled mattress, Asylum Bed Broken, Wall Lamp C, Wheelchair, Medical Cabinet C, Asylum – Rosewood Asylum by DRD [The Epiphany]

I Keep Asking Why

In grief therapy, they tell you often that being creative and expressing your feelings through art is huge. Something about art therapy helping get your emotions out without you having to speak. I guess I sort of get it. There have been a million times in this very blog where my photos aren’t just “Hi, look at my outfit.” I’m not sure I’ve ever really been that kind of blogger. I like to tell a simple story in a simple picture. But I’ve been so creatively blocked in the past almost 3 months. It’s so hard to express yourself through art when your grief is almost the only thing you feel most days.

But then I thought, “Why do I have to be creative? Why can’t I just put out what I feel or even what my days are like?”

I have 3 kittens. They’re almost 6 months old now and I love them so much. They are, most days, the only things that really get me out of bed. They are curious and funny and they force me to remember that life goes on, even on your worst days.

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Ava by Doux
Headband: Josie by Frayed [Anthem]
Top: Nimi by Miss Chelsea [N21]
Jeans: Evie by Blueberry
Boots: Sidney Booties by Friday [Collabor88]
Nails: Frankie by Equal [Anthem]
Pose: Ground Sits Vol. 1 by Foxcity [Edited with AnyPose]

Bed: Elle by Elm
Fairy Cottage – Sideboard by KraftWork
Old Sports Room – Vintage Messy Rug by KraftWork [Anthem]
Munchkin Kittens by JIAN

The Road Goes On Forever

Hello loves. Well… in the saga of my “Worst Year Ever,” I spent the end of August and beginning of September sitting with my mom in the hospital. Some of you might remember a few years ago that I had to stay overnight with her in the hospital because she needed a blood transfusion because of her anemia. This was the same, but so much worse. With the death of my dad, both she and I pretty much stopped doing basic life necessities. It was even worse for her, and had she not had the strength to call for help… I don’t even want to think about it. And the fact that she was in the same hospital my dad had been in really threw me. But the hospital is a good one, and we met many outstanding medical professionals who got her back up and healthy enough again. She’s doing a ton better, physically and mentally, and I’m grateful for that.

As for me…I’m not great. It would be easy for me to say “I’m ok!” and move on with my day, but I’d be lying. I think I will be ok one day. I’m doing grief counseling. I’m trying to take care of me. The road goes on forever, doesn’t it?

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Eyeshadow: Scintillance by WarPaint [Anthem]
Hair: Charisma by Truth
Top: Slouch Tee by Tres Blah [Collabor88]
Bottom: Cuffed Jeans by Tres Blah [Collabor88]
Nails: Mod Nails by Ascendant [Anthem]
Bracelets: Yara by Kunst [Anthem]
Pose: Devilish by Foxcity
Background: Roady’s Biker Bar by DRD

I’m Still Breathing

Hello loves. Well, it’s another trip around the sun for me. This has been a really awful summer for me. Yesterday, my sweet Holly passed over the Rainbow Bridge. To say that I am devastated would be an understatement. I really would like to just be done with this year. But I’m still breathing. So here’s to another year. May it be better than the last.

In This Post:
Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara and Petite Chest Add-On by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Ears: Steking by Mandala
Nails: Boldly Go by Ascendant [Anthem]
Hair: Solstice by Truth
Dress: Gatsby by Tres Blah [Collabor88]
Necklace: Emilie by E.Marie [Anthem]
Pose: What Gives by Foxcity
Build: Hacienda La Veleta by Hisa [Anthem]

I’m Just A Silhouette

Hello loves, I hope your August has been going well. Thank you for all of the nice messages from my last post. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to reply to everyone. I’ve been running very up and down with my moods. It’s part of the grief process. It doesn’t make me very creative or entertaining, unfortunately. But I did manage to get in today to show off some pretty things. And that’s what I’ve got today. ❤

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara and Petite Chest Add On by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Temptress by Exile [The Epiphany]
Dress: Amelia by Look At Me [Anthem]
Pose: Spirited Away by Foxcity

Suspended Platform, Suspended Shack, Van, Van Bed, Hanging Towels, Shack Curtain, Shack Decor Shelf, Decorative Plants: Hanging Plant, Palm, Pink Plant – Oregon Outpost by KraftWork [The Epiphany]

To Everything There Is A Season

Hello loves. Wow, what a month July was for me. I’m sorry to have gone radio silent, but my life took a drastic turn. My dad passed away on July 11th, and it was very much a shock to me. If you have known me for any length of time, you know that my parents are my world. Every prayer I have said in the past 10 years has been for them. Everything I have done has been around their schedule. To learn to live in a world where my dad doesn’t exist anymore is…a struggle. So I took the remainder of July off and away from basically everything – SL, Twitch, gaming in general.

I wasn’t really sure if I was ready to return to blogging, but SL has been my creative heart for the past 12 years. I have put my emotions into 99% of my photos. I feel like I need that right now, probably more than ever before. But forgive me if I am slow sometimes. I’m taking small steps into a world that honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense to me right now. But I am my father’s daughter, and he would have, 100%, told me to just get back to doing whatever I want to do.

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Ella by Wasabi [The Epiphany]
Outfit: Cozy Outfit RARE – Pampered by Cosmic Dust x Momoko [The Epiphany]
Pose and Prop: Cozy by Foxcity

Chevron Privacy Wall, Chimenea, Hanging Bench RARE – Boho Porch Set by Crate [The Epiphany]

The Patio by Crate

I Love It When You Call Me Señorita

Hello loves! Happy July! I don’t know about where y’all are, but wow, it is getting super hot in my neck of the woods. Now in my offline life, I’m not much of an outdoorsy beachy girl. I wish I were, but outside is hot, there are bugs, the beach has sand that gets into way too many places, and the ocean makes me dizzy if I’m too close. But I will always be happy with a Second Life summer!

Anthem and The Liaison Collaborative have both opened for July, and their themes are so summery and fun! You must must must go!

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Alaska by Doux [Level]
Top and Skirt: Sophia by Little Fox [Anthem]
Glasses: Alicia by Fetch
Nails: Pineapple by Ascendant [Anthem]
Pose and Prop: Private Eye – Watercolors by Le Poppycock [The Liaison Collaborative]

Table, Planters – Tropical Patio Set by DRD [Anthem]
House: Carnaval by Scarlet Creative

I Feel You Near And It’s A Lovely Day

Hello loves! Well, I don’t know about where y’all live, but we’re going back into a second lockdown around here. Yikes. I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy!

But luckily, in SL, it’s always a lovely day. And there is shopping to do, so get out there and get it!

In This Post:

Head: Nova by LeLutka
Body: Lara by Maitreya
Skin: Rosalie by Glam Affair
Hair: Macy by Exile [Collabor88]
Top: Mila by Tres Blah
Jeans: Paige by Tres Blah
Necklace: Love by AvaWay
Pose: Chill by Foxcity
Photo Booth: Neighborhood by Foxcity